Sunday, February 7, 2010

fiza dan mun

inila yg terjadi bila dua org perempuan yg menghampiri usia 27 tahun, bujang, chatting di tgh malam minggu..

muniraazman: uih

afiza churemy: online tuk mengedik
afiza churemy: hahahaha

muniraazman: nak ajak menggedik secra virtual ke?
muniraazman: ahahaha

afiza churemy: tp xde sape yg nak di gedikkan

muniraazman: tak produktif lgsg ko menggedik dgn aku
muniraazman: aku ingat ym lg mainstream dr fb

muniraazman: gile tak ramai online mlm ni
muniraazman: aku cam kecik ati plak

afiza churemy: kecewa aku ni

muniraazman: ahahaha

afiza churemy: hahahahaa
afiza churemy: nak conference pon cam xde org je

muniraazman: dulu aku tunggu2 weekend
muniraazman: skang ni bedebar bila nak dtg weekend
muniraazman: sbb tatau nak spend buat ape
muniraazman: ahahahah

afiza churemy: ceh

muniraazman: gile takde life

afiza churemy: start crisis ni

muniraazman: crisis ni dipanggil krisis melepasi suku abad
muniraazman: ahahaha

afiza churemy: gerun tgk nombor la ni

muniraazman: nombor tu takdela sgt
muniraazman: tp gerun tgk org paste gamba anak kat fb

afiza churemy: hahahahahaa
afiza churemy: jelang isnin je
afiza churemy: org duk post gambor kawen
afiza churemy: masuk selase
afiza churemy: gambor anak
afiza churemy: rabu
afiza churemy: phone plak dering
afiza churemy: ask address
afiza churemy: khamis
afiza churemy: kad sampai
afiza churemy: jumaat
afiza churemy: org taye pegi kenduri kawen x
afiza churemy: sabtu ahad
afiza churemy: full book kenduri

muniraazman: ahahahahaahha

afiza churemy: seriau aku
afiza churemy: hahahhahaa
afiza churemy: lg xdelife ni

muniraazman: pastu ko sendiri dok post gamba kawen org

afiza churemy: tu la
afiza churemy: hahahahhahhaa

muniraazman: takpun gamab skolah
muniraazman: dan org2 dlm gamba tu sume dah kawen beranak pinak
muniraazman: huh

afiza churemy: tu je tuk elak org duk bincang kawen
afiza churemy: hahahaa

muniraazman: tapape tah kite ni

afiza churemy: tolong bukak topic lain

muniraazman: ha itulah

afiza churemy: pe ceter la ni

muniraazman: ahahahah

afiza churemy: aku bace ur blog

muniraazman: soalan tu cuma akan membawa kpd topic yg lebih kurang sama

afiza churemy: yer ke
afiza churemy: ok
afiza churemy: tukaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

muniraazman: sekarang cuaca selalu panas kan?
muniraazman: (tanda takde idea)
muniraazman: ahahahah

afiza churemy: mmg xde topic
afiza churemy: jelang petang je hujan cam kilat
afiza churemy: tp sekejap je kan

muniraazman: kilat je lebih
muniraazman: angin cam nak taufan
muniraazman: hujannye sikit je

afiza churemy: sbb awan tak de air
afiza churemy: pe barang ceter sal awan n hujan

muniraazman: wahahaahhaahha


sememangnya ktrg takde topik nak dibincangkan selain dari topik yg ktrg nak ngelak. mungkin ada, tp tak cukup menarik. jadi....? ye akhirnya ktrg menggelakkan diri sendiri buat kesekian kalinya..

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

nak main layang2

sakit. sakit sangat2.

takut. takut melampau2.

dah tak ada cara nak legakan hati.
tak ada lawak yg boleh ringankan semua ini.

yg paling indah mampu aku fikir,
kalaulah ada seorang yg sudi memeluk aku, dan aku boleh menangis tanpa rasa bersalah..
ya aku takkan mampu buat begitu dgn mak dan abah,
tangis aku akan lebih kpd rasa bersalah

berat. aku memang dah jatuh. dan aku perlukan sesuatu yg mampu angkat aku semula.
aku perlu sangat2.

memang kalau mabuk itu tak berdosa,
dah lama aku cuba.

sekarang aku cuma nak main layang2..

what being financially unequipped has done to me

1. i turned to anak dara pingitan. i dont go out. except for sending hani to school.

2. i cant pay the car, let alone the gas. everyday i hope mom wld use the car and fill up the tank so i can use the balance she left.

3. i turn down offers to date. because i'd prefer to go dutch. but i cant afford that and i dont want him to pay for me or at least when he decided to go dutch i hv the money to pay for myself ..

4. i cant go to meetings that supposed to pay me because i cant pay the cost of going to the meeting..

5. lesser social life. again, to be socially active i hv to hv the money to fill up gas, to pay the movie tickets, pay for food.

6. my confidence level has gone down terribly. always hoping for people to pay for u is pathetic. i really want to give to people..

7. my priorities has differed all the way. money is number one.

8. my insurance agent is pestering me. he's helping me actually. but i hv to pay the premiums. how? how? anything happen now, i wont be covered. so dont bother to kill me and get the payment.

9. i now hv phobia for my fav song malam bulan dipagar bintang i used to hv as my ringtone. because everytime the phone rings, its hutang..

10. i dont call people, because i cant pay the phone bills.

11. i cant get out of the office because i hv to pay the bills. i may not getting the deposits back because of that. still no hope in getting any money.

12. i become quiet. i dont tell anything to my parents. because telling is just gonna make me feel worse.

13. sometimes i slept too little, and sometimes i slept too much.

14. i dont hv any idea what kind of routine i'm going everyday.

15. i become too hopeful for a miracle to happen.

16. i laugh everytime i get the chance. not a perfect cover, but it works just okay..

17. i'm addicted to sudoku. it's one way to divert my mind. and i may hv done that too often.

conclusion? stress, stress,stresssssssssssssssssssssss

Monday, January 11, 2010

nak gaduh?

gaduhla sorang2. aku dah tak peduli apa kau fikir. aku rasa tak perlu untuk aku gaduh untuk menegakkan pendirian aku kalau aku tak peduli pun apa pendirian kau. dah tak ada sebab untuk aku mintak kau faham. jadi tak ada keperluan lagi untuk aku bertekak dengan kau.

jangan minta maaf, sebab aku dah tak peduli. tapi aku tak berani unutk kata aku dah maafkan. kalaupun kau nak terus hidup dlm guilt, itu tak menggembirakan aku, aku cuma tak peduli. kalau kau hidup dgn bahagia, itu pun tak menggembirakan aku, aku memang tak peduli.

aku akan buat2 tersenyum. biar semua orang taktau yang aku dah tak peduli. cuma aku takkan lihat ke mata kau lagi, sebab apa yg ada disebalik itu, aku dah tak peduli lagi.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

october, november, december and january

assalamualaikum.

tho january has another 25 days to go, i wuld like to conclude my life in this four months in one word: HELL.

a whole lot of ups and downs that i haven't quite figured out the bright side of it all yet. ...not just yet..

wondering how much more i can take, how long i'd be able to share this despair, how much strength left to stick myself in one piece.

..and after all..
anger is still anger,
grudge has always been grudge,
tired.. all along.
left alone and still alone.

what's so bright of it all? optimistic doesnt seem to be a word anymore..

-lailahaillaanta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimiiin.....

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Hill -marketa irglova


Walking up the hill tonight
and you have closed your eyes,
I wish I didn't have to make all those mistakes and be wise.
Please try to be patient and know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning.

Where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?
I know that you can do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.
I'm on my knees in front of him
but he doesn't seem to see me
but all his troubles on this night
is looking right through me
and I'm letting myself down
by satisfying you
and I wish that you could see
I have my troubles, too.

Looking at you sleeping,
another man I love.
I'm sitting here weeping
while the hours pass so slow.
I know that in the morning
I have to let you go
and you'll be just a man
once I used to know.
Before these past days
someone I don't recognize
This isn't all my fault.
When will you realize?

Looking at you leaving,
I'm looking for a sign
so, everytime i said what i feel, it will turn the other way round. why, my answers would always lead me back to the questions?
to heal, is this the potion or the poison?
is it worth it, to be patient, than to lose it?
how i want to be at times when i couldnt care so i wouldnt be hurt.